Friday, August 29, 2008

The Denver Donkey Show: Hee-Haw, Hee Haw - The March for Fleece 2008. Night 4 of the DNC part II

On the 45th anniversary of “I Have a Dream”, Barack Obama delivered a similarly moving and beautiful speech to the standing room only INVESCO field audience, the American people, and the more than 38 million around TV viewers around the world. It’s sad really, that unlike Dr. King’s speech, Barack Obama’s promise of a better tomorrow for the American people carried all the heft of a popcorn fart and the heart-felt honesty of “You look great in that dress. I was telling my Mama just the other day that I thought that style of dress probably wasn't designed with Homo sapiens in mind. But, I see you in it and I’m like, DAMN girl, you be lookin' fine!”

Dr. King said:

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

Truer words were never spoken. Recognize.

As well as:

"I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood."

Well, they’re still working on that one. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you know.

Regardless of my ever-embittered, volcanic ranting, this was a historic night. And, as viciously and regularly as I attack my fellow Americans and our government, the events of last night restored in me a sliver of hope that the American system of government still fundamentally works. A black man has earned the Democratic Party’s nomination for President of the United States of America. I say earned because he successfully fended off The Baddest Bitch, and quite possibly the sickest all-around fuck on the face of the planet, in a heroic display of will that continues to befuddle me.


As alluded to earlier, the speech was nothing more than a “Rah-Rah-Rah” pep rally for the American dream. There were no Chicken Soup for the American Soul remedies. And, the remedies that Senator Obama did allude to left me with gnawing, rolling agita. How the hell are we gonna pay for all this utopian sunshine and rainbows? There is no way that any of this could be anything more than utter fantasy, like Intelligent Design, or abstinence-based Sex ed programs. I’ve read numerous Penthouse Forum letters that were more believable.

There was one aspect of the Democrats' powerful night that was particularly telling; hundreds upon hundreds of Democratic delegates on the floor of INVESCO Field were waving signs that merely said "Change", so many in fact, that I can now attest to what an organized street beggar's convention would look like. The ocean of signs somehow cheapened the speech, as if the front of a 7-11, or a freeway off-ramp would be a more fitting venue. Even though I was at home, I put my wallet in my front pocket, just to be safe.

When, oh when, oh when, will they learn; ass, gas, or grass, NOBODY rides for free.

However, I am a grown man and I can admit certain things: As much as I bitch like some whiny old see-you-next-Tuesday, I firmly believe that if you can motivate a nation’s people to action, you can literally move mountains.

My brother Andy (his Blog) will state to anyone who will listen to him, that he believes differently. Andy proudly contends that he is, “Ayn Rand-loving to the point of necrophilia”, and a “me first and fuck you, card carrying Neo-con.” He believes that Karl Rove is to politics what Allen Iverson is to himself; the Answer. My fellow Americans, I love him very, very much, and I work tirelessly to temper his vigor for ultra-conservative issues. The truth be told, I often wonder if his conservative fervor is a defense mechanism; for hidden under the surface of his super-intelligent psyche, and unbeknown to the rest of us, he has a Rep. James Traficant-sized skeleton in his closet. Only time will tell.

I’m on to you MackNair. You can run but you can’t hide.

In closing, I don’t really have anything else to report. My intention for this final segment was for it to be as entertaining and devoid of substance as Senator Obama’s speech.

To my wonderful and appreciated readers (both of you), if you think that I was tough on the Demmycrats, wait ‘til Monday. The GOP Convention from St. Paul, MN is the place. I have a feeling that its going to be a sadly farcical event, more than worthy of my rancorous verbal wrath.

I will also be heavily reporting on Ron Paul's "ugly step-sister" convention, "The Rally for the Republic", in Minneapolis. If you were wondering if I'm just some angry, scoliotic curmudgeon who lives below a freeway overpass and uses the public library's computer as an excuse to come in from the elements, and that I couldn't possibly write anything with a positive slant, just wait.

Just you wait.

Until then, assalamu alaikum,


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